Indianna Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Plot:

During the Cold War, Soviet agents watch Professor Henry Jones when a young man brings him a coded message from an aged, demented colleague, Henry Oxley. Led by the brilliant Irina Spalko, the Soviets tail Jones and the young man, Mutt, to Peru. With Oxley's code, they find a legendary skull made of a single piece of quartz. If Jones can deliver the skull to its rightful place, all may be well; but if Irina takes it to its origin, she'll gain powers that could endanger the West. Aging professor and young buck join forces with a woman from Jones's past to face the dangers of the jungle, Russia, and the supernatural.

Review:

If you have never seen an Indiana Jones movie or have and didn't really care what it was about, you'll probably think this is a good summer popcorn movie. However, if your a fan of Indiana Jones you'll probably think this is a steaming pile of shit. And YOU'RE RIGHT!

Problems with this movie are as follows:


1. Story

Indiana Jones is supposed to be about finding lost items that have religious significance. After you watch any one of the original 3 (save maybe 2), it makes you ponder 'what if' type shit about the history of the world. The Raiders of the Lost Arc was about finding the Covenant of the 10 Commandments. The Last Crusade was about finding the Holy Grail. This movie was about... fucking aliens if you can believe it.


2. George 'Let's just use CGI instead of doing real stunts' Lucas

There is so much CGI in this movie that it gets to the point where your saying 'is this star wars?'. None of the first 3 movies had hardly any CGI , this movie is filled with it and it looks plain stupid.


3. Finale

Ok, let's throw the movie together in the last 30 minutes and see if anyone realized that we really messed up this piece of shit.



So who's responsible for making this piece of shit?

George Lucas wrote it.
Spielberg directed it.
Harrison Ford starred in it.

How do you fuck this up?

Rating: 1/5